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Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 107
Location: chinford London
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Date: 2006-07-25 03:03:35 Topic: Your favourite stand up comedian |
Post some of the jokes they have told, or vidio clips if you can find them.
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Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 134
Location: Tenafly,NJ
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Date: 2006-07-25 07:34:03 Topic: Re: Your favourite stand up comedian |
Mitch Hedberg
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle
I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all.
I called the hotel operator and she said, "How can I direct your call?" I said, "Well, you could say 'Action!', and I'll begin to dial. And when I say 'Goodbye', then you can yell 'Cut!'"
I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.
Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. "Tom's gone!" "Is he a magician?" "No." "Then let's print up some flyers!"
I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk. I said, "Dude, you are a cow. The metamorphosis is complete. Don't fall asleep or I will tip you over!"
I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.
I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
Because of acid, I now know that butter is way better than margarine.
yeah, hes a funny guy, too bad he died. RIP
im an idiot |
Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 898
Location: Wind-sore, Ontarible
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Date: 2006-07-25 12:37:45 Topic: Re: Your favourite stand up comedian |
Bill Hicks and Joe Rogan, look them up. Joe Rogan is the host from fear factor and he is one funny s.o.b.
Obviously Chappel is awsome too
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Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 1938
Location: PA
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Date: 2006-07-25 12:50:48 Topic: Re: Your favourite stand up comedian |
^ hahah that was good
Jim Gaffigan is my favorite stand up comic
i don't feel like typing jokes out but hes on youtube
check him outtt
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Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 387
Location: Dallas, Tx.
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Date: 2006-07-25 13:55:10 Topic: Re: Your favourite stand up comedian |
Dave Chappelle.
I'm so glad he's going back to standup.
You never need an argument against the use of violence, you need an argument for it. - Noam Chomsky |
Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 2997
Location: somewherenearcleveland
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Date: 2006-07-25 14:36:57 Topic: Re: Your favourite stand up comedian |
George carlin is the best...
"dont you think if there were tubes big enough for an entire country to go down some one would have said 'Hey Joey, look at the fuckin tubes'"
I'll support dans comp till bmx companies start selling direct to their customers... |
Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 256
Location: Chagrin Falls OH
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Date: 2006-07-25 14:54:04 Topic: Re: Your favourite stand up comedian |
George Carlin, Steve Byrne, Travis Simmons..............
"The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done." - George Carlin
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." - George Carlin
"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that." - George Carlin
"Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another." - George Carlin
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death." - George Carlin
"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past." - George Carlin
"Weather forecast for tonight: dark." - George Carlin
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?" - George Carlin
"'Down the tubes.' What tubes? Where are these tubes? Where do they go? And why has nobody ever seen them? Big enough tubes - you'd think somebody would've seen 'em by now and say, "Hey, Joey! Look at the fuckin tubes!"" - George Carlin
"One hour photo! How can anyone be nostalgic over something that just happened?!" - George Carlin
tranqulized is my hoe  http://www.pedalbmx.com/forum/Smileys/default/afro.gif
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Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 1817
Location: Newnan, GA, USA.
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Date: 2006-07-25 15:48:02 Topic: Re: Your favourite stand up comedian |
Jeremy Hotz, I love this guy. Here's a 20 min episode from Comedy Central presents:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK-d7fSZcPA&search=Jeremy%20Hotz
Yeah, negative 6 ounces.....taking it off your bike will actually make your bike HEAVIER... |
Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 2800
Location: Austin, TX
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Date: 2006-07-25 21:25:31 Topic: Re: Your favourite stand up comedian |
george carlin is damn good. probly my favorite standup comedian
he isnt the funniest person though.
that title goes to sacha baron cohen.
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Joined: A long time ago...
Posts: 1425
Location: Near Philly
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Date: 2006-07-25 23:38:23 Topic: Re: Your favourite stand up comedian |
dave chappelle, pablo francisco, gabriel iglesias, all hilarious. carlos mencia however should die.
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